brushitofff:

i have childhood memories that i am not 100% sure actually happened or if i dreamed them i really do not know

(Source: ejacutastic, via stammer-time)

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via the-sexy-harries-twins)

(Source: bachmaninovsky, via stability)

asian:

asian:

so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit

$80 for eye shadow???

is it made out of unicorn shit

what is naked 3

why is it called naked

will it make her look naked

why is it $50

that’s 50 cheese burgers

i can’t deal with make up good bye

(via the-sexy-harries-twins)

alphalewolf:

Chris Evans | Puncture 

(via chuckles-hansen)

sir-ryan-lancelot:

officialfrenchtoast:

modern day rebels

This makes me happy

(via guy)

thegeekyblonde:

chocolatechipseapancake:

thegeekyblonde:

vagueblogging on tumblr without naming names more like “i do not bite my thumb at YOU sir but i DO bite my thumb”

Do you quarrel sir?

QUARREL sir NOOOOO sir

(via stammer-time)

(Source: jordanstaal)

cumrun:

I WLLL COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING nap with you

(via stammer-time)

sometimes i wonder how my life would’ve turned out if i hadn’t signed up for tumblr

(via phobias)

the-tie-guy:

iamtravellingwiththedoctor:

thekrustykr4b:

who needs punk rock when you can have punk cock

image

that could have been a very different picture

I am glad it wasn’t

(Source: spicy-vagina-tacos, via guy)

(Source: shawzerz, via stammer-time)

evgeniemalkin:

why try and fuck one hockey player when you can be a ref and fuck an entire team

(via stammer-time)

myynt:

i hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that shit

(Source: sav4gez, via stammer-time)